Nick Warhol

"Are you ready yet? We have to get going", Deb shouted across the garage to her husband Dick. "Almost, but I can’t find the keys to the truck. Do you have them?" "No, but we can use the spare key hanging on the wall. Let’s go!" Dick picked up the ice chest and placed it in the back of the truck. It was leaking water all over the place. "Stupid thing" he muttered. He hopped in the truck, turned the key, and was greeted with silence. "Not again!" he moaned. He pushed the truck down the driveway, next to the car. Deb walked up while he was hooking up the jumper cables. "I thought that was fixed", she said. "So did I", he mumbled back. Of course they could not open the hood of the car, since they did not have the keys. Dick walked next door to his good friend’s house, opened the compartment in the side of his camper, and borrowed the battery. He hooked the jumper cables to it, and the truck fired up. He left it running while he put the battery back into the camper.

"Did you remember the stuff in the dryer? My saddle pad is in there." Dick ran back into the house, and returned with a pile of soaking wet horse stuff. That was not fixed yet, either. He plopped the wet pile down in the truck and hoped the sun would dry out the pad. He put the pad on the tool chest in the back of the truck to dry. They pulled out, and drove to the gas station, where they could not fill up with gas since the keys to the locking caps were on the missing ring. Dick took his big screw driver and "opened" the caps up. "What the heck, that’s only 30 more bucks" he told himself. They finished filling up, and drove over to the stable, about five miles away. He backed the truck up to the trailer, and remembered the lock on the fifth wheel hitch guard. The sledge hammer took care of that one. While Dick was hitching up, Deb walked over and reported that her horse Mystery was missing a rear shoe. Perfect. She went to call the farrier, while Dick continued to pack. Dick started up the front end loader, so he could lift the bale of hay up onto the roof rack on the trailer. As he picked up the bale, the strings broke, and the entire bale of hay came pouring down all over the place. The dressing room door in the trailer was open, and that’s where most of the loose hay ended up.

While Dick cleaned up the hay, Deb reported their farrier could fix the shoe, but only if they met him at his ranch. That would take another hour or so. They hurried up the loading process, got the horses in the trailer, and drove out. While they were sitting at the first stop light, a guy on a motorcycle came up to the window and said "Hey man, you got a flat on the trailer!" "Thanks" replied Dick, who then pulled over into a parking lot. He shut off the engine, got out, and began the laborious task of changing the tire. Until he went to remove the spare, which was flat. He looked up into the sky, sighed, and looked around. What a break! There was a tire dealer 3 blocks away. He told Deb where he was going, and rolled the spare down there. After hearing his sob story, the mechanic fixed the tire while Dick went back and got the other flat. He took out his new "jiffy jack" drive-on trailer jack, placed it on the ground, and went to start the truck. Dead. He got out, and walked over and found a guy in a pickup to give him a jump. The tire was now up in the air. He got that one repaired at the tire store as well. He was hot, tired, dirty, and thirsty when he finally got back into the truck. Another hour and thirty minutes down the drain. That much idling should have charged the battery, he thought.

They pulled out into traffic, and turned North towards the farriers ranch. Half way there, they came across a bunch of stopped cars. While they sat there, a highway patrol officer worked his way back to their truck, and told them there had been an accident, and the road would be open in about 45 minutes. Dick did not want to shut off the engine because of the battery, so he just let it idle. Until it overheated. FOOOSHH! The steam and water blew out everywhere. Dick shut it down, just as the traffic was beginning to clear. He went to get his water jug, which his son had removed the day before to take out on the boat. Dick looked around, and spotted the ice chest. Out went the food, and the water (that used to be ice) was used to get the truck to the next gas station. (The highway Patrol officer gave them a jump)

They pulled into the farriers ranch, and unloaded the horse. Dick borrowed the farriers truck to go back to town and buy a new battery, some coolant, and a water jug. "It’s only money" he kept telling himself. He returned, fixed up the truck, and timed it perfectly. Deb was just ready to load the horse. Deb sheepishly told him she had forgotten the checkbook, but the farrier said that was OK. They drove back to town, and stopped at the supermarket to replace the ice chest, get some more ice, and replace the spoiled food.

They finally hit the road, and now were only about 2 hours from the ride. The drive was uneventful, until they got lost trying to find the race site. There were signs up, but no place to turn off the highway. They pulled over to look at the sign. It said the start area had been changed, and they had to drive another 30 minutes up the road. The drove on, after explaining to the local sheriff why they were blocking the entire right lane of the road. Dick told himself he knew better as he put the ticket in his pocket.

They arrived at the ride site at last, and just before dark. They found a place to park, and Dick sighed as he shut off the engine. Just for the heck of it, he tried it. It started! They unloaded the horses, and began the setup process. Deb asked Dick where the hay was, and Dick groaned as he realized he had not taken another bale after his first hay disaster. Deb went and borrowed some hay from a few other riders who were glad to help. They took the two horses to the vet in area, and Dick held them while Deb went to collect the riders packets. It was taking a long time, but after twenty minutes Deb returned. "They did not have our entries, so I had to enter again. I have to send them another check. You need to go over and give them your AERC number". (which was on his AERC card, which was at home) Dick presented his horse to the vet, who looked him over. Dick trotted the horse, and it was dead lame. The vet said "no left rear shoe". Dick looked down- it was gone. He walked the horse over to the sign up area, looking for a farrier. He found one who happened top be riding, and the guy was happy to help. Another shoe and $40 later, Dick returned to the vets and passed this time.

Deb was back at the truck, and told Dick she had picked up the wrong bridle at the barn, but she had already borrowed one from a friend of hers. Dick just wanted to sit down and eat some dinner. He looked for the portable chairs, which were out on the boat with the water jug. He did not care- he just sat on the ground with a warm beer. Deb made some sandwiches, and the couple finally relaxed as they ate their dinner. It was already after dark, so as Deb prepared the horses for the night, Dick went to pitch the tent. He swore he would kill his son as he found the tent and sleeping bags were no where to be seen. He climbed into the storage area of the fifth wheel trailer and just shoved everything on the ground. They went to bed, all nice and comfy, wrapped up in horse blankets, and used a hay bag for a pillow.

Deb woke up to the sound of people talking, and looked at her watch. It was 5:30! The start was in 30 minutes! She poked Dick as she jumped out of the trailer. Neither had set the alarm, which was a moot point since it was in the tent (at the lake) anyway. They did a mad dash to get dressed, and Dick was bummed when he remembered he had not hung up that pile of wet laundry. He pulled his soaking wet tights on his legs, shuddering in the cool air. Deb was way ahead of him, working on getting the horses tacked up. Her saddle pad was nowhere to be found, and Dick realized that flash of white behind him on the freeway must not have been that Porsche after all. 15 minutes to go! A friend rode up on the way to the start and said good morning. He dropped off the saddle pad Deb had asked him if she could borrow. Just after she returned the greeting, she snugged down her girth. SNAP! There went the billet on the saddle. "Oh no", she said. Her friend replied: "It’s OK, you are a lightweight. Just use the single billet." Deb hoped it would hold.

Dick was trying to find some water for his bottles, while he gulped down a granola bar. The raccoons had opened their new ice chest, and there was not a bite of food left. Deb could not find her sun glasses, so she wore her prescription ones. The ride started just as they swung their legs over the saddles. They dashed over to the start, and began the ride!

They were in the back of the pack and had to fight the dust for a while. They had good horses, and were steadily passing people. Just as the sun started to poke over the mountain, a huge owl, who was out hunting a little late, leaped up into the air. Dick’s horse spooked, bolted, and Dick promptly fell into a soft, muddy puddle. The horse did not run away, but Dick was covered with mud as he hopped back up into the saddle. "Are you OK?" asked Deb. "Oh sure," Dick barked back. He did not notice his water bottle from his waist pack that remained stuck in the mud. They continued up the road, when Dick realized his rider card was still in his rider packet in the trailer.

Dick returned 15 minutes later, and Deb was still there, waiting for him at the side of the trail. "Here" he said. "I brought you this". It was a bagel with cream cheese. They began the ride again, and began trotting up the nice road. Until they came to a creek, which Deb’s horse refused to cross. "Here we go again", Dick thought to himself. They had spent an hour at a river once before, trying to get her horse to cross.

Sixty minutes later, they were back on course. Dick was worried about making the cut off time at the first check, but they were covering ground quickly and began catching the slower riders. They arrived at the first vet check, and went through well enough, until the trot out. "No shoe, left front" said the vet. "Got an easyboot?" "Yes", replied Dick, who went to get it, and found his nice bag had ripped open, and there was no easy boot. His horse had huge feet- how many size 3’s are there out in the wild? Dick was about ready to throw in the towel, until the drag riders came in. "Look at what I found on the trail", one of them said. "It must have been from a Clydesdale, or a woolly mammoth!" It was Dick’s Easyboot. He put it on his horse, and the horse looked fine for the vet. The out timer told them to get a move on, since they were flirting with the cutoff time.

They rode off again, and sped up to a faster pace. They made back about 45 minutes before the next check, which miraculously went smoothly. In their haste before the ride they had forgotten to bring the crew bag to the ride truck. ( It would not have mattered, the truck had already left) They actually got to sit down and rest for 10 minutes, and they were lucky to find someone who gave them some hay and a drink of water. Their hold was now over, so it was back on the trail to lunch. They rode the 10 miles to the lunch stop, and walked the horses in. They cleared the vet check without any big problems, except for the horse who stepped on Dick’s foot. They finally made it to their trailer. What a relief! They took the tack off, cleaned up the horses, and gave them their bran mash. Dick did not even care when he noticed the left front tire of his truck was flat. He just tried to relax, and wished this was an hour hold. It was time to get going already! "Oh no" said Deb as she heard the second billet on her saddle break off as she tightened it up. The strain of riding with a single billet had been to much for it. They did not have a spare saddle, so Dick fashioned an interesting girth attachment out of a tie down strap. (which he used for his hay on the roof, when there was some up there) It looked funky, but it seemed to hold the saddle in place. Deb got some funny looks as she went through the camp.

They started the second half, and got hopelessly lost. The trail was not marked at an intersection with 5 roads leading out. There were hoof prints everywhere, and from every direction. They waited a while, as some riders came back from one of the roads which was wrong. They all decided to try different roads, and come back in 5 minutes to this spot to tell each other who found the course. Our fearless duo went in their assigned direction, found a locked gate, returned to the intersection, and there was no one there. "Great", Dick thought. They decided to take the road back to the base camp, and it turned out to be the correct trail. They had missed a turn about two miles back.

They continued up the course, and came across the last check. There was a guy there with sodas for the riders, but he was out of everything except warm Fresca. Deb pleaded with some other crew people who were packing up for some hay and drinking water. The out timer came over and told Deb they were right at the time limit, and would they consider pulling? "Not on your life" replied Dick. They left the check with only 8 miles to go until the finish. The trail was an uphill climb, so it was slow going. After they were just far enough away from the last check that they could not go back, the strap on Deb’s saddle broke off. Now what? Dick lashed her saddle to his saddle by using his stirrup leathers, and they began the walk in to the finish. Deb did not even mention she had lost her prescription sunglasses in the last check. Dick was limping, since that horse stepped on him a little too hard.

They crossed the finish line at 6:45 PM, 45 minutes past the cutoff time. They gave their ride cards to the sympathetic ride manager, and returned to the truck with the flat tire. They untacked the horses, and sat back down on the ground. Just then, another friend came jogging over. "Hi guys, what a great ride! I got third, and best condition! I won a blanket, a saddle, and a gift certificate for a free dinner at Chez Paris! Is this a great sport, or what?" He laughed as he jogged away. Deb and Dick just looked at each other.